Coming off Social Media (Facebook)
There has been a lot of talk in the news and even Facebook itself, about the effect it has on our day to day lives. Some argue that it has become an integral part of society, business and general way of life but from my perspective, a small but growing contingent are choosing to rebut these claims.
This got me thinking, what effect is it having on me?
First step with any addiction, admitting there is a problem.
““I am absolutely addicted to Facebook and I don’t know how it happened...””
I have been on social media pretty much continually since 2005 after leaving school there was this thing called Myspace (insert puzzled emoji, yes I am that old) It was unprecedented, all your friends, people who aren’t friends who you want to be friends with, all in one place. Your own personal space, Myspace. I was hooked immediately, never before had anyone experienced this melee of instantaneous response/critique to questions and feelings (but mainly peoples music tastes). Great times.
Then came Bebo, I didn’t really understand Bebo. I had one but it really wasn’t for me, whereas Myspace felt like an interesting sort of forum, a bit like Reddit has now become, Bebo was more of a ‘look at me’ type of deal where there was no music and just a lot of nonsense written about themselves. Selfie Central basically. It had its own controversies but we will move on…
Roll on 2007, I am at college, loving life. I am introduced to this new fangled thing called Facebook. It was new and lots of ‘friends’ were leaving the fuddy duddy social platforms to join, initially for me it seemed, a carbon copy of Bebo but was growing fast. I really didnt like it at first, it was completely devoid of personality unlike the former platforms where with a basic knowledge of HTML coding, you could create a wall that reflected your own personality. It wasn’t for another year till I jumped ship and deleted my Myspace to move ‘my life’ on to the next big thing.
Ten whole years later.
As someone who has prided themselves on believing I don’t have an addictive personality, I don’t smoke, don’t gamble and don’t really drink except for occasions. It hit me. I am absolutely addicted to Facebook and I don’t know how it happened. Some nights I am sitting at my massive computer screen with a few browser tabs open and a separate tab for Facebook to the side… while periodically (frantically) checking my phone, opening the Facebook app to see who has commented or shared a photo I took or just to see what the craic is. Two screens with the same thing on! It’s not normal, yet it is. This morning I watched a video (linked below) showing all the sneaky things these social media companies do to get people addicted. In the video he opens up Twitter and tells us to watch the notification bar at the top as he opens the app, pointing out there is a deliberate 2-3 second delay after opening the app before any notifications appear on that bar, its like the fruit machine, you wait and you are rewarded. Think about how often we do this, mid conversation to a friend, 5 seconds of that conversation is spent not engaging with them, in a short conversation 5 seconds is a long time and to be honest must be having an affect on relationships where people are looking at a screen and not the person 2 feet in front of them.
Look around any coffee shop, bar or restaurant. Yep, someone just flipped their phone over on the table didn’t they?
At 5:00 mins in is where he shows the easily unnoticed tricks social media companies use to addict people (putting aside the American English over use of addicting in place of addictive…)
Filter vs no-filter.
Everyone does it, they generally only project and select positive and nice things in their life to paint a perfect picture. It worries me that young people today see this as reality, it is the only reality they’ve known. Instagram is where most young people spend their time these days and I can see how it could become really upsetting to the point of depression, being subjected to images of idealised versions of their peers, it must feel hard or impossible even to live up to as ultimately, it is.
Bringing us onto what becomes of that frustration.
Everyone has bad days, but every small little issue gets blown up by vague status updates all in the name of that little bit of instant attention and gratification. Watching the TV show The Circle on Channel 4 it shocked me into how gullible and sneaky people can be until I recalled all the times it happened to me even as far back as 2005. I wont give it away if you haven’t seen it, but the person who wins the show perfectly sums up why you just can’t believe the things you see online.
That is the filter people gladly put on, but there is another filter people forget to switch on.
It is utterly shocking the things people will say and put out there and turn nothing into an online battle royal of unspeakable dimensions. They get triggered by the slightest insult or inconvenience and say things they wouldn’t dare in public. Rather than think rationally about what ever it is they vent. Venting is an exercise in futility, for both parties. Once someone is on that path absolutely nothing, no amount of kind words or rationality will cause them to back down or admit they or wrong or even acknowledge the absurdity of the situation. The chat threads that run for days, the personal messages sent out of public view and the screen grabs reposted, ‘look this person said this in a private chat after I berated them for four days'. It’s upsetting to observe but can only imagine the distress it causes someone caught in the middle of something like that, to have your name and profile picture bandied around for all to see in the midst of a public melt down.
I think we all need to take a step backwards here and admit to ourselves, do we really care and do we really need this constant instant interference? It’s not healthy.
Don’t I need it to get clients?
““...it should only take 30 mins of your time?””
There is a notion that, businesses need social media for their business. In my business it is actually a small part of the reason I want to simplify streams. It can create a vacuum of time. Do I get lots of enquiries through my business page? Yes and no, I would say for every ten enquiries on social media I get one genuine enquiry that leads to a job but typically about two thirds of those jobs are at the lower end of my services, i.e. the ‘30 minute jobs’. So monetarily, I actually think I might grow better without it, allowing more time to spend on bigger projects like all day weddings or company marketing campaigns. It is probably worth noting however, never has a firm, magazine, newspaper/media or a company contacted my business by Facebook and 90% of wedding bookings are by phone or email. It’s these jobs I do best, its the jobs I enjoy the most. It’s this work that feeds my business.
The Pros? It’s quick and easy for people to reach out and really its where everyones eyes are half the time so you are more likely to get an instant response.
Cons? In 7 years of the business page we have had people complain and even threaten us because we can’t do jobs for £30 or even free, offering exposure as payment. Unfortunately you can’t pay bills with exposure.
We help out when and where I can spare my services for all sorts of reasons without payment. At the end of the day its about providing value for everyone, from say the people or groups who might benefit from the marketing boost but most importantly, it has to serve the interests of the business. It’s difficult to strike that balance where people can see that what we do just isn’t the same as taking a 3 second snap on your phone and running it through a filter. I could break it down at great length but in essence a typical 30 min shoot for any reason, actually takes at least 3 hours of our time and has financial cost associated with it like fuel, multiple insurance policies for public liability, equipment and transport, wear and tear on equipment and transport, software licences not to mention the 11-12 thousand pounds worth of equipment we’ve worked incredibly hard to acquire and invest in, all of that has to pay for itself or we’d be dead in the water financially. It’s not just a picture.
So as of Sunday the 14th of October 2018 at 23:59 on my 31st birthday. My 11 year old Facebook account will be deactivated. I am looking forward to experience the effects of it. Maybe it will boost my productivity tenfold or perhaps it will be a refreshing, if somewhat nostalgic take on communication, it could turn out they are right, maybe we do depend on it for success?
If you are experiencing online bullying, there are people out there who can help.
My door is always open and your welcome to drop me a message anytime. The first thing I would recommend of course is removing yourself from the situation all together see here how to deactivate your account, it won’t delete it you can come back another time thats better for you. I believe this is important for your wellbeing but it also keeps chats etc of things bullies might have said. After that, talk to someone. It sounds simple and daft but speaking from experience, it does help. A friend, family or a stranger what ever you feel is easier or try Breathing Space or The Mix.